What to do when nobody talks in group therapy

By Heba El Garhy · Published October 19, 2026 · Editorial standards

You ask the opening question. Eight adults look at the board, the floor, a blank worksheet. Nobody answers. Here is what that silence can mean, what to say in the next ten seconds, and how to get the group into the skill without turning quiet into a test.

The example below comes from an adult IOP skills group with rolling admission. Eight members are present, two of them for the first time, and the planned skill is Describe from DBT mindfulness: putting words to what you notice while keeping observations separate from interpretations. The facilitator opens with: "What have you noticed about your thoughts since last group, and how have you been practicing mindfulness?"

First, check the question

Before reading anything into the silence, look at what was asked. That opening question asks two things at once and assumes everyone attended the last session. The two new members cannot answer it as intended, and others may not know what "mindfulness" is supposed to mean here.

In open groups this is the most common cause of a silent opening: a question that only works for the members who were there last time. One prompt at a time, about something available in the room today, solves more silences than any technique for drawing people out.

What the silence might mean

Members may be thinking, unsure of the vocabulary, worried about disclosing something personal, unable to see or hear the prompt, or simply choosing not to speak. You usually cannot tell which from the outside, so don't guess, and don't attribute quiet to culture, diagnosis or unwillingness.

Silence on its own is not an emergency. What does need separate attention is a change in one person's awareness or responsiveness, such as new confusion, difficulty staying awake, or slurred speech. That calls for your program's assessment and response procedures, not a better prompt. If you are leading alone, request help through your program's route and stay with the group; never leave it unattended.

What to say first: three options

Pick the one that sounds like you. None of them is a warning for being quiet.

• Warm: "That was a lot in one question. You can take a moment, and nobody needs a personal story. I'll give a small example first." Use it when the invitation may have felt demanding.
• Structured: "Let's try one small example. I'll describe a detail about this cup. Then you can name a detail, try privately, or watch." Use it when a concrete task would make the purpose clear.
• Direct about the format: "Let me simplify that opening question. We won't go around calling on people. I'll demonstrate first, and speaking afterward is optional." Use it when the waiting is turning into a public test.

Then model it. Put an empty cup where people can see it and say, "The cup has a handle." If a member offers "The rim is round," name what they did ("You've named a feature you noticed") and keep the invitation open to others, including private practice or watching. Don't say "Finally!" or "See, that wasn't hard," and don't ask the first speaker to explain everyone else's silence.

If it's still quiet: make the task smaller

1. Offer a choice instead of an open question. "A: The cup is beside the notebook. B: Someone left it there because they don't care. Which describes what we can observe? You can say A or B, point, or decide privately." This also teaches the skill: A is an observation, B adds a motive nobody observed.
2. Check the instruction, not the people. "Would another example or a different way of presenting this help?" Give it time. No answer does not mean the instruction is accessible.
3. Offer an accessible route. If someone cannot see the cup, stop pointing at it. Offer an object within comfortable view, or a sound or texture the member chooses to notice.
4. Move into practice anyway. Show a second description and continue to the next small invitation. Don't wait for a spoken answer as permission to teach, and don't keep repeating the question until someone breaks.

When a member names a barrier or concern

If a member asks, "I don't know what mindfulness means. Is there a right answer?", own the gap: "I used that word before explaining it. We're putting words to something we notice. I'll show you with the cup; you don't need a personal story."

If a member says something like "People laughed when I spoke last time," that is a relational concern, not a participation problem. Acknowledge the impact and address what needs attention. Don't ask them to name people publicly, don't tell them the room is safe without dealing with it, and don't use the exercise to move past it.

What not to do

• Going around the room calling on people one by one when you didn't plan it and members didn't agree to it.
• Filling the silence with a lecture.
• Treating the first answer as proof that everyone understood.
• Rushing to get someone to speak mainly to relieve your own discomfort. It is a fair question to bring to supervision.

How to document it

Record what you observed and what you did, not what the silence meant. Two example excerpts for different outcomes (fictional, not complete notes):

If the client practiced aloud: "Client did not answer the initial opening question. Following a simplified prompt and facilitator demonstration of Describe, client stated that the cup's rim was round. Facilitator identified the response as an observed feature and invited further optional practice."

If no practice was observable: "Client did not provide a verbal response during the opening or subsequent practice invitation. Facilitator simplified the prompt, modeled Describe, and offered private practice or observation. Client did not share an individual description during the observed practice period."

Don't turn silence into a statement about motivation or completion, and keep other members' identities and disclosures out of the note.

After group

If one member is quiet across several sessions, raise it privately through your team's usual process. Check language, hearing, vision, literacy, processing time and preferred way of participating, without asking for a public explanation. Next time, explain the participation options before you ask the first question, and use one prompt at a time.

Sources

• Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press. Mindfulness teaching notes, source for the Describe skill. Guilford teaching notes
• American Group Psychotherapy Association. Practice Guidelines for Group Psychotherapy. agpa.org

The example is a fictional illustration, and the dialogue is original; the sources support the underlying principles, not these exact scripts. This guide is educational and does not replace clinical training, supervision or your program's procedures. Adapted from When Group Gets Stuck, Scenario 2.